


I'm Losing One Friend After Another

by DoctorFitzy (KittooningMalijah)



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-28
Updated: 2016-04-28
Packaged: 2018-06-05 02:47:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6686095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittooningMalijah/pseuds/DoctorFitzy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After what happened on the planet, Fitz never thought he’d see Ward again. The problem is, he was right -- who he runs into certainly isn’t the man he once knew, even if history does tend to repeat itself.</p>
<p>(AU where Fitz is the one who runs into Hive!Ward instead of Jemma)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Losing One Friend After Another

          He fought to get out of the hold the other man had on his arms, not that there was any use when his main goal wasn’t to get free, but to go _back_  into the fray in the operating room. There was no saying what kind of damage had been done in there in the time he’d been kept from returning, and he wasn’t about to let much more time pass before he could make sure nothing else happened that could easily be avoided. “Let me _go_!” Suddenly, the hold on him disappeared, and he almost thought the guard had actually _listened_  until he realized how ridiculous that was.

          “It looks like someone owes me a thank you.”

          Fitz spun around quickly at the sound of the familiar voice, eyes wide with shock. It wasn’t entirely unreasonable for _that thing_  to be snooping around Radcliffe, but he’d been hoping to have a bit of time to get some information for SHIELD before Hydra came along and took away the opportunity. “You...”

          His steps mirrored those of the _creature_  stepping toward him, sand crunching under his feet, and he barely remembered to breathe once his back hit a wall. There was no where left to run, really, after that, and it was a struggle to keep panic from setting in. Too much was being remembered too quickly -- _the same face he was staring at now on the other side of a plate of glass, a game of poker, desperate pleas to just **listen** , a night spent in a drainage pipe, two very different experiences with an EMP._

“Stop.”

          As much as he tried to avoid exactly that, Fitz knew his voice shook while he tried to press himself back against the wall. His body didn’t melt into the wall, which would be a merciful escape in a situation like this, but it certainly wasn’t for lack of trying. In most other situations, he’d been _throwing_  himself at this very hindrance in his life, but all those times were different. This wasn’t Grant Ward anymore.

          There was a moment, a _beat_ , before he was forced to lift his head, making sure to clench his hands into fists so that his nerves wouldn’t give him away any more than they already had. Immediately, he found himself staring at a pair of brown eyes that he _knew_  he shouldn’t feel any kind of attachment to anymore. They had no life behind them, and they almost seemed to be a more dulled shade of the color they used to be. He wanted to stare longer, take in every changed detail to remind himself that _this wasn’t Grant Ward anymore_ , but his thoughts were cut off by the voice he’d been trying to forget once meant something to him.

          “Hey, Fitz. Long time, no see.” There was still enough space between them that the conversation wasn’t so suffocating, but that didn’t mean it was anything close to _comfortable_. “Now, is it just me, or does it seem like you’re trying harder to get back into that room than when we were back on that planet? Maybe it’s just my opinion, but watching someone _die_  right in front of you seems a bit more serious than a security guard or two.”

          Taking a somewhat unsteady breath, Fitz stayed silent for a long moment before trying to come up with some kind of response. “What are you? You’re _not_  Ward.”

           The _thing_  -- _Hive_  -- tilted a borrowed head and exhaled with a huff of breath. “Aren’t I? You know, you used to have so much more faith in me. You used to believe I could... What did you say, again? Oh, right -- I could _choose to be good_. Unfortunate I didn’t choose that, isn’t it? Imagine where we could be right now.” It took another step toward him, not even pausing in its words. “But you didn’t _really_  believe it, did you? I mean, and this is just my opinion, you can’t really believe in a person so much and then watch them die completely defenseless. That doesn’t seem entirely logical to me. No, wait, I didn’t just _die_ ; I was _killed_ , murdered, even, and you stood by and did nothing.”

          “ _Stop it_...!” The words bordered on hysterical while Fitz quickly shook his head, trying to gather himself before bothering to speak again. “Even if I wanted to do anything, you _know_  I couldn’t have. I was too far away and- and I turned around too late, Coulson was already-”

          “Murdering me? In cold blood?” Hive shook its head again, advancing further with what space there was left between them and lifting a hand to rest gentle fingers on the scientist’s shoulder. “No, don’t go getting upset. Let’s face it, we all knew it was going to happen eventually. I did tend to offend people quite often. Besides, what were you going to do? You’re not really trained for things like that. You’re not a field agent -- you’re just our little monkey.”

          For a moment, he almost forgot about the fact that this wasn’t the man he once knew, that there was some alien parasite using a corpse as a meat suit. Fitz blamed the familiar touch, the gentle brush of the thumb moving over his shoulder through the layers of his jacket and shirt, the fond look that he used to miss _so much_ , for the temporary slip up. Once he snapped back to his senses, he shook his head but managed to stay right where he was, admittedly appreciating the touch more than he should have.

          “I did what I could, but it wasn’t enough to stop Coulson. No one could have stopped what he did -- I couldn’t save-”

          “ _Save me_?” Suddenly, its words were colder. Gone was the soothing tone of a familiar friend, and he was faced rather quickly with the harsh lilt that came from an enemy. “That’s always been your goal, hasn’t it? To _save me_. From what? Coulson? Myself? The entire damn universe? Try to understand _this_ , Fitz -- I don’t _need_  to be _saved_. You _can’t_  save me. I lost my chance to _choose_ to be good, or make up what all I’ve done to all of you. Is it really that hard to understand it?”

          Fitz took a deep breath, not breaking eye contact with the thing that used to be a person. Maybe, if he kept the conversation going for long enough, he could find some flicker of a person still in there, and _reason_  with it. “That’s the exact reason I couldn’t save you before -- you won’t _listen_. We all _wanted_ you to be on our side, but you were too stubborn to see that you had people who cared about you, so you threw that all away. _Literally_ , in one case. Is it really that hard for _you_  to understand what we were trying to do? What _I_ was trying to do? I _was_ trying to save you, but you wouldn’t let me. Maybe _this time_ you’ll react a bit differently.”

          He was quick enough to catch Hive off guard -- _not Ward_ , he had to remind himself again -- while throwing his weight forward, arms locking around a sturdy torso as though he was going in for a hug. It took only a few moments to knock them both to the ground, and then Fitz was on his feet again, using the seconds he’d bought for himself to flee.


End file.
